I’m worried about my father. He worked a physical job for 50 years and that was his only exercise for a long time. He’s retired since 2021. I’m worried now because when I look at him I feel like I can see his muscles withering away while his belly is growing. He’s also had high blood pressure for years, but he stopped taking the medicine on his own accord. On top of that, he keeps falling asleep during the day and snores like crazy so the chances are high that he has sleep apnea. My mother is also very worried and told him to visit the doctor. My father refuses. I’m not lying to you when I say I fear something terrible will happen to my father’s health in the coming years. This thought pains me. He worked a physical job full time for so long, he deserves a nice life as a pensionado.
Why does he refuse to go to the doctor? I have no idea. My mother tried to get him to think about the long-term: my sister has two children, doesn’t he want to be a grandpa for a long time to come? Doesn’t he want to see his grandchildren grow up? This kind of reasoning doesn’t change his mind. But if you ever ask him why he doesn’t want to go to the doctor, all you’ll get is a sort of grunt. He’ll never answer the question.
Photo by Hush Naidoo Jade Photography on Unsplash
This proves once again: you cannot change other people. They have to want it themselves.
The irony of my father’s symptoms is that he can do a lot about them without going to the doctor. He has plenty of time now that he’s retired: he could exercise a lot more, he could go to the gym, he could focus on losing fat.
Getting to a healthy weight would do wonders for his blood pressure and would possibly make his sleep apnea problems go away (if he has this, we don’t know for sure as he won’t go to the doctor). Going to the gym would make his muscles come back. Movement and eating well really is the medicine, especially for a lot of the so-called “welfare diseases” like high blood pressure, high cholesterol and diabetes type 2.1
Photo by Bruno Nascimento on Unsplash
My father wasn’t always like this. When I was very young, he was into sports. He was a good runner and he liked wind surfing. Looking at photos of that time, he was pretty thin, actually.
What happened? I don’t know for sure. I can take a guess though. He worked extremely hard to provide for my mom, my sister and me. He often worked overtime in the evenings and even on weekends, so we all had a decent life. I think he was just too tired. He drank a beer too many and his belly grew. His only “luck” was that his work was physical so he was always strong.
But now that he’s retired and hasn’t picked up sports again, you can tell he’s not moving enough. He drinks a lot less alcohol these days, but still too much. Writing this post makes me sad. I love my father and I want him to be healthy. I want him to stay around for much longer. And maybe he will, some people make it to 90 with terrible lifestyle choices. It just pains me that the people who care about him can’t get him to change his mind and change his ways.
So instead, I’m imploring you: keep moving. If not for yourself, then for your loved ones. They want you to stick around for a long time. I know how much you’d rather chill on the couch, have a drink, have a snack. There’s a place and time for that, but us humans aren’t meant to sit still for long periods of time. Find a way to prioritize health and exercise in your life. You don’t have to be an elite athlete, you just have to be better than average.
1 please don’t interpret this as me saying you shouldn’t use medication if you have a condition like high blood pressure. I mean this as: try to focus on getting to/keeping a healthy weight and moving enough. This often lowers the need for medication, and some people can get off the medication entirely. Consult your doctor about this. You can also interpret this as: focus on trying to avoid getting those health conditions in the first place by living a healthy lifestyle.