don’t chase material success, it’s a capitalist trap
I once had colleagues that were car obsessed. They don’t know it, but they taught me a big lesson in life. One of them owned a second hand luxury Mercedes. It was the old Mercedes that the CEO in Germany used to drive in so it had all the bells and whistles you could ever need in a car. Actually, it was already overkill. You would think that this colleague, let’s call him Bob, was very happy with this car. But for him, this was his normal. The car wasn’t special to him at all anymore.
So what did he do? Naturally, he purchased an even more luxurious car. He bought a second hand Rolls Royce Ghost. I remember asking him: “Will you be happy with this car? What are you going to do when this car feels normal to own?” He assured me this would be his most luxurious car ever, he would be happy with this one.
I just looked up a photo of a random luxury car, this is obviously not a Rolls Royce. Photo by Dhiva Krishna on Unsplash
He bought the car and we all went to admire it. I don’t give a damn about cars, but even I had to admit that this was something special. It was very comfortable to be in as a passenger. Many people did a double-take when they saw this car on the road, it’s pretty rare. Bob was very happy with it too.
Well, I’m probably the worst writer when it comes to subverting expectations, but shockingly: it didn’t take long for him to go back to feeling normal. Owning the car was normal, not special anymore. I left the project, but I later learned from another colleague that he bought a Rolls Royce Phantom as a new car.
The lesson here is clear, right? Everything you covet and then acquire is going to give you a small bump in happiness for a short time, but then it is going to be your new normal. This is the focusing illusion, as described by Daniel Kahneman in his book Thinking, Fast and Slow. It is also called affective forecasting. This is the reason why billionaires keep buying more preposterously big yachts, why they keep wanting more insane items. It’s never ending cycle, it’s a dead end, it’s a void of desire, it’s stupid!
But, a lot of us are like mini billionaires with our behavior. It’s easier than every to buy cheap crap you don’t need. We have too many clothes, we have cheap gadgets from China and we keep lying to ourselves that we really need all of this. With marketing, you are constantly seduced into buying more crap. We tell ourselves that having a big car is going to impress other people and is necessary for our “status”, but I will tell you: no one gives a damn what car you drive. You’re just pissing away money and making rich assholes richer. This is capitalist happiness. It’s a never ending cycle of desire and wanting more. It will never stop until you make it stop.
sensible happiness
I’m not saying that you have to go to the other extreme and go for a minimalist lifestyle by only owning 5 pieces of clothing and a toothbrush. But I think most of us would do well to move in that direction at least.
Most important is that you see the capitalist happiness lie for what it is and don’t fall for it anymore. Try to buy stuff you truly need. Chances are you don’t have to buy clothes for years again. You will save a lot of money, that’s for sure. Give away some stuff to other people in need, don’t blindly throw away stuff.
Try to seek happiness in other ways that are more sensible and dare I say it, true. Find happiness by spending time with your family and friends, being kind to others, by being a valuable member of a community, by making an effort to improve yourself and your lifestyle. Sensible happiness is based on your effort and the things you do for yourself and others that you can be proud of. It’s choosing the long term over the short term. It’s investing time and effort in the things that really matter to you.
What is stopping you?
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